Turn Around
by Duchess Biggerstaff
Summary: Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be…then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am...I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you...


Turn Around 

Disclaimer: Not mine toys but I will return them to JKR when I'm done. Song is TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART by Bonnie Tyler with Meatloaf (Producer for Bonnie: Jim Steinman)

_Turnaround, _

_Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round_

Hermione bit back a sob. She had already cried enough for three lifetimes. She stood next to Harry and Ginny, Harry's arm supporting Ginny as she sobbed. They were burying him today.

_Turnaround, _

_Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears_

Hermione pressed a kiss to her fingers and placed it along with a rose on the casket as they lowered it. Briefly, she wondered how they would react if she jumped in with him. Not that it mattered where her body was, her heart and soul were with him. She was dead as he was. She turned and walked away.

_Turnaround,_

_Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by_

They had been through a lot together, Harry, Hermione, and Ron. From the troll first year to the defeat of the Dark Lord. It was the destruction of the Dark Lord, yes, but the destruction of Hermione's world as her husband was struck down.

_Turnaround, _

_Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes  
Turnaround bright eyes, _

_Every now and then I fall apart  
Turnaround bright eyes, _

_Every now and then I fall apart  
_

Weeks passed and Hermione fell into a depression. She put all but one of Ron's photos away in his Hogwarts trunk in the closet with his robes and other effects and locked it. She took to drinking Ogden's Firewhiskey and sitting in a rocking chair, singing "Weasley is our King".

_Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart_

Harry and Ginny visited daily. She knew they were worried. She knew she was falling apart. She was too wrapped up in her pain. She saw their looks. She didn't want their pity or worry. It angered her in her state of constant fog and pain. They even had the nerve to look grieved and pained. Ginny had lost her brother, Harry his best mate. What had Hermione lost? Only her other half, her soul, her heart. Harry and Ginny were married and living together. They ventured into her world with caution, quickly giving her food, asking her how she was, telling her to get out more, and they exit quickly, before the grief could grab hold. They lived with it, but not to the degree that she did. She saw the worry pooled in their eyes as they brought her food that she never ate. It stacked up in the kitchen. All she did was relive the past. She remembered her and Ron's first fight, first kiss, the first time they made love. As she remembered, she never shed a tear. She hadn't cried since they buried him. She wouldn't allow herself to cry again. She knew if she did, she really would finally fall apart.

The wind howled against the house a cold November night a year after they buried Ron. Harry came to visit. He laid the box of food Ginny had prepared on the kitchen counter and went into the living room and looked at his best friend sitting staring at the fire. Hermione was not the woman she once was; not the woman he grew up with. Harry knew somewhere inside was the bright, energetic, bossy girl he knew, but she was locked up by grief, held captive by the pain and anger she had.

"Hermione, I set the food in the kitchen," he said. Hermione nodded, her eyes not leaving the flickering flames, reminding her of Ron's hair. It was their routine. Harry sat in the chair next to her.

"'Mione, you need to eat. Not eating is not going to bring him back," said Harry. Hermione didn't respond, so Harry sighed and pressed a kiss to her brow and left. He did not hear her words.

"I know, but it'll bring me closer to him."

_And I need you now tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
Cause we'll never be wrong together  
We can take it to the end of the line  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
I really need you tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
_

Hermione sat there in her chair. She glanced at the calendar. It was then she noticed the date. A year exactly. Hermione tried to squash down the tears, but unlike other times, she couldn't. For the first time in a year, Hermione Weasley cried. The year of loneliness, pain, and anger poured out of her. She couldn't take it anymore. She left her chair and ran upstairs. She flung the bedroom door open and pulled out her drawer. She found her wand and went back downstairs. She stood in front of her and Ron's wedding portrait.

_Once upon a time I was falling in love  
But now I'm only falling apart  
There's nothing I can do  
A total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can say  
A total eclipse of the heart_

Hermione Granger Weasley, the smartest witch in her class at Hogwarts, one of the best friends of the Boy Who Lived, the lover and wife of Ron Weasley, was going to commit suicide. She pointed the wand tip at her heart, not noticing the horrific looks on her and Ron's faces in the portrait.

"I'm coming to be with you, Ron. Avada-"

"Hermione!" Hermione turned to look at the intruder and seeing who it was she turned the wand on him. Harry stopped in his tracks seeing the truly mad look in her eyes.

"Harry, no closer! You have to let me do this," she said in a low hoarse whisper. Harry's eyes widened. 'She can't do this,' he thought. His mind raced. He whipped out his wand and called, "Petrificus Totalus."

Hermione stiffened and fell over. Harry walked over and picked her up and lay her on the couch. Tears leaked from her eyes as Harry confiscated her wand.

"Finite Incantatem," he muttered. Hermione slumped and a hollow sob came out of her mouth.

"Why Harry? Why can't you let me do this?" she sobbed. Harry sat next to her, pulling her close. "I have no one. Ron is gone."

"He's not as gone as you think," he murmured.

"Harry, please let me do this. You are not alone like I am. I miss him. I have no heart. He took it with him," she sobbed. "Gods, I hate him! Why did he leave me?"

"No, you don't hate him. Look, Hermione. There's something I must tell you...Ron, he's not dead," said Harry. Hermione felt numb.

"Yes, he is, Harry. We buried him, remember?" she said. "He's dead. Why are you doing this to me? He is dead and he isn't coming back. He left me! How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me."

"I do."

_Turnaround bright eyes  
_

Hermione looked up at the doorframe. Through her tear-filled eyes, she saw a lanky figure with a blaze of red hair standing there.

_Turnaround bright eyes_

"It's Ron."

"Ron Weasley? Ronald Bilius Weasley?" she croaked, rubbing her eyes.

"Yes, Hermione. It's me," he said, walking towards her. Hermione placed her hand on his cheek. He was real. No, Hermione, a voice reminded her. He's dead. She leapt off the couch away from Harry and Ron.

"You're dead. You're dead. You told me he was dead, Harry. I attended his funeral. You're dead! Why are you torturing me, Harry?" She turned to Harry, who looked pained at her. "How long have you known? How long have you let me be in agony? How could you both do this to me? Why would you rip my heart out like this?"

"Hermione, please-"

She spun on the stranger. "You, whoever you are, I don't know why you are doing this, but my husband is dead. A year today. He left me all alone. He left me with friends like him!" She pointed viciously at Harry, whose eyes were glistening with tears.

"Both of you, get out!"

She didn't wait for an answer as she turned and ran upstairs to the room she had shared with Ron. She raced into the bathroom and retched.

"No, he's dead. I can't do this!"

A faint knock sounded on the door. The man claiming to be Ron poked his head in the door. Hermione's eyes widened to see tears on his cheeks.

"Hermione, love. It's been a year and I don't expect you to forgive me right now. I'm not dead. I promise. I just need to hug you," he said. Hermione stared at him.

"Are you really Ron Weasley? Ron Weasley's been dead for a year. How am I to believe that you aren't a Death Eater in disguise?" she said, her breath caught in her throat.

"I remember the first time I ever saw you. You appeared in the compartment looking for Neville's toad. Then you watched me do that stupid spell Fred and George gave me. You told me I had dirt on my nose. I remember the first time I _really_ saw you. It was at the Yule Ball fourth year. I was never more breathless then when I saw you in those robes. You looked like a goddess on earth. The first time we kissed was under the tree in the backyard of the Burrow. We argued over the location of our honeymoon and the color the bedroom," Ron said. "Hermione, please. It's me."

Hermione tentatively walked to him. She placed a hand on his cheek and felt the stubble there. She slid her fingers through his hair. She bit back a sob and collapsed against him. He wrapped his arms around her. Hermione felt his arms tighten as she squeezed her arms around him. No matter the anger she felt, he was back and she wasn't letting go for anything.

"You're back. Oh, you're really back. Are you sure you're real and not a figment of my imagination? I want to believe you are real. Why did you leave me, Ron?" she murmured, pulling back to look into his face.

"I had to, Hermione. I needed to do this assignment. I had to prove to the world that Ron Weasley was as good a soldier as his best friend, that I could protect my family. As it turns out, I failed. I failed to protect you from the pain of my 'death'. I failed Harry. I failed Ginny. I failed everyone."

Hermione placed her hand on his face. "You are just as good as Harry. You protected me from Malfoy during the Battle. You are a great soldier, Ron," she said, but Ron went on like he didn't hear her.

"I had to go undercover to eliminate or capture the remaining Death Eaters Lucius Malfoy was rounding up. He had an agenda against you as well as Harry. There was no way I would allow him to plot against Harry. I couldn't bear to let there be a chance I would lose you. Don't blame Harry. It was my idea to fake my death. I needed to do this, but I didn't know how much it would hurt you. I messed up again. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry, Hermione love. I missed you so much," he said, tears shining in his eyes.

_Turnaround, Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be  
Turnaround, But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am_

_Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you  
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do_

"Oh Ron, you have always been perfect to me," whispered Hermione, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from his eyes. His eyes....pale blue. So lovely, she could drown in those eyes. That hair, red like fire and a temper to match. Gods, had she really survived a year without him? How could she even start to think she could survive the rest of her life without him? A sob welled in her throat and she turned away from Ron. She felt the pain of everyday without him leaking from every pore and she stuffed her fist in her mouth.

_Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart_

"Hermione? Are you all right, love?" said Ron, watching the woman he loved bend over as if in pain. Hermione sobbed and sobbed, the year's worth of pain pouring out.

"I hate you, Ronald Weasley," she said, sobbing. Ron's eyes grew wide and hurt reflected in them. He turned to leave and she grabbed him by the cuff. The anger, pain and anguish pooled in her eyes shocked him.

"Where the bloody hell do you think you are going?" she asked, suddenly angry, tears still coursing down her cheeks. Ron's eyes widened at Hermione's use of vulgar language.

"I'm leaving," Ron said, quietly and roughly. Hermione pointed her wand at the door, locking it and charming it. She turned to him.

"Like hell you are," she said. She grabbed him and placed her lips fiercely on his.

_And I need you now tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
Well be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
Cause we'll never be wrong together  
We can take it to the end of the line_

"Now that I've got you back, I'm never letting you go," whispered Hermione, loosening Ron's tie. She pushed his robes off his shoulders. She placed her lips back on his and pulled him to the bed.

"Promise never to leave me again," said Hermione, placing a kiss on Ron's neck.

"Never again," he whispered.

_Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
I really need you tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
_

Hermione opened one eye and winced. She flipped over, hoping to get back to the dream with Ron. She flung her arm and her eyes widened. She wiggled her fingers against naked human flesh. She turned over and saw with a full heart, Ron.

"It wasn't a dream," she whispered. She rested her head on his chest. He slept on as she rested there, replaying the time she had known this boy. From the dirty nosed youth to the strong passionate man that lay with her, Ron had grown more and more wonderful, even if he irked Hermione. Hermione's love had grown and changed. She placed a hand on his cheek.

Was it only mere hours ago she had thought of killing herself? Was it only hours ago she was facing the prospect of living her life alone and painfully empty of Ron? She looked over at the redhead, who looked angelic sleeping, but Hermione knew better. He was both angel and devil to her. She snuggled down next to her husband, who smiled in his sleep and slipped an arm around her. Hermione smiled and as she drifted back to sleep, she felt at peace for the first time in a very long time. No longer was she falling apart; no longer was there love in the dark; no longer was she loving alone. Once she was alone......

_Once upon a time I was falling in love  
But now I'm only falling apart  
Nothing I can do  
A total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can say_

"Not anymore."

_A total eclipse of the heart_

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. I love Ron and Hermione ships! Oh, yeah, this is the closest thing to smut you are getting from me.

Please Review!


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